My house has been filled with guests and relatives that it's become a mission to find solitude and silence.
I remember Michael said "Nowadays, I get nervous when it's QUIET"
Our house is riddled with flowers, fruit and deli trays.
Things are much better today. Well, I'm not sure of that, but at least thats how things seem right now.
The only weird thing is when telemarketers call for my mom. What do I say? "Is Zeta Brunetti there?" "No she died actually." You can't say that to people you've never met.
It's weird though. It's not a depressed feeling....no, not at all. Just sadness. I have rarely ever felt sadness unless it was linked with depression. Now I understand they are two seperate things.
One cool thing though, is that I got the best thing from my mom's jewelry box. I was sort of upset that Maria got the necklace that my mom wore everyday, and that Tami got her diamond ring, but yesturday I found something better.I found this locket with her initals ZMA...it's from when she was a teenager. It was the first thing my dad got her. SO BOO YA sisters.
I feel so at peace right now. Nothing is hanging over my head for the first time in a long time and it feels euphoric.
Yesturday I got some Xmas shopping done with Jamie. I saw some people I know and I could tell they knew about my mom cause they gave me the "How are you doing" with the head tilt. Oh well.
Yesturday was also an unoffical day of work. I had to be there at 7am-8 for registar training, but instead just ended up "straightening up the glamour room" and "replenishing the cotton panty tables" because the lady who was supposed to train me never showed up. But Jamie did pick me up at 8 in the morning after working till 2:30 am and going to bed at 4. He's such a lovely boyfriend. We were gonna go to breakfast or something but we were too tired so we just went back to his house and slept. Sigh I love that.
Alright....I'm hungry. I'm sure I can find and apple or some roast beef around here.