You all might be interested (or faking interest) in the fact that I'm feeling a lot happier. I had some sort of a temporary breakdown Friday night. I guess it would fall under the category of a panic attack. It started with a simple phone call. It wasn't even an upsetting phone call in the least. But I don't know...after that, I felt very strange. I felt so...depressed is such a cliche word, but for lack of a better one...depressed that my body burned. For stupid reasons, too. Now that I look back on then, I mean. Reasons such as "I'm a nobody" "No one thinks I'm special". Codswollop like that. And the next thing I knew, I was dizzy, and shaking, and hunched over the toliet trying to puke...then crying hysterically. It felt like I was on some weird drug. I got angry at myself for feeling that way...EVERY day. There was no excuse for it. So I've been using the mind over matter technique and I'm feeling SO much better. I just tell myself "BE HAPPY!" everyday, and most the time, I am. I think part of my despair was based on that I lost my path. Or at least I felt. I couldn't pick a major so therefore I didn't have a plan. I didn't have a dream. Now, I sort of set up a little dream sketch in my head. Living in North Carolina as an interior decorator and decorating rich people's summer homes on the beach. I think that picture looks pretty good to me right now. So there you go. I feel like I'm out of the rut. I'm guessing you all are breathing a sigh of relief for the thought of a lot less depressing entries. I know I am.
*~*~*~*PASSED UP STORY THAT IS NOW BEING MENTIONED*~*~*~*~*
The morning after our anniversary, it was pouring down rain. So Jamie and I went out in his driveway in our underwear (well, I was wearing a tshirt) and ran and jumped and frolicked in the rain. He was wearing boxer briefs and the neighbors were very obviously peering out of their windows to watch Jamie splasing in puddles while his junk was slowly becoming more visable through his jockey shorts as they got wet. It was really funny and also, a little sad. No I don't mean sad. I mean invigorating.
Also, I used body crayons today to make my boob look like a bunny rabbit.