That is, if everything goes as planned. Hell, I could have 4 weeks left.
Good God, no.
Anyway, I thought that by taking my maternity leave, that I would be less busy but in fact, I am even more busy then before. Because, you see, work let me find an excuse to put a lot of things off. (i.e. the nursery, my room at my dads, ect ect) So I'm scrambling to get everything done. I'm extremly stressed.
Extremly stressed.
And let me tell you, the degree of "LOSER!" I am feeling about being a mother without her liscense is growing everyday. I'm TRYING to try. Thats all I can say. I say "Jamie! Take me driving tomorrow" He says "OK!" Then I say "Are you going to take me driving?" And he says "We don't have time today. Maybe tomorrow." I say "Jamie I need to practice maneuverability" and he says "Not in the Malibu. You'll scratch it." So, its no wonder that I feel very stuck in this situation. It takes effort. And as you may or may not know, efforts not my game.
Which is sad to me.
But I have hope.
This hope resides in this little life that is growing inside me. I'm hoping that she'll change me for the better. Make me a better, more motivated person. Give me drive. MAKE me drive. I don't know if that is selfish or anything, but I feel like she's my last resort to be a motivated person. I hope she dissenegrates my laziness. I really need it. It really depresses me actually, that I have no drive towards anything. I feel like a waste of a human being sometimes because of it. I just hope she teaches me to finish what I started and start what needs finished.
Tia is on her way here to help me with the nursery. Jamie can't because that is sort of the kitty room, and he has huge allergy attacks being in there. So we need to get it all cleared out and de-kittied.
OH I forgot.
Yesterday was a ball of laughs!
Syke.
Jamie leaves for work. Leaves his 37 1/2 week pregnant wife home alone with the PMSing cat. She turns on Dr.Phil. She's going to watch about people with shopping and hoarding tendencies. At least thats what she THOUGHT her plans were. Boom. The lights went out. Oh its ok. She'll just call her dad to come over cause she's scared of the dark. Sorry, Katie. You're phone is dead too. It's like you're trapped in some low budget 80's thriller. Looks like YOU get to spend your night sitting in a dark hallway with you're neighbors to avoid being scared. And thats just what I did. I cried, then I went into the hall so I wouldn't have to be alone.
Ok. Thats over.