September 07, 2004 � 11 days of unused thoughts
Even though my life seems to play over and over again like some drudged out song, I never thought I'd go 11 days without updating!

Holy Cow.

Nothing INCREDIBLY interesting has happened:

-I joined a gym with Jasmine

-I went dancing at Bailey's with Jasmine and Matt :-)

-I started school, and Jesse is in one of my classes so this should make for a fun year.

-I went back to work

-All my friends went back to school.

Ok.

There it is.

The run down.

So, here I am...taking some time while the little jelly bean sleeps.

She's been so precious lately. I figured out that the reason she was so fussy all the time was she wasn't getting enough to eat.I guess I wasn't producing enough or something. So, we started giving her 8 oz bottles and she eats the whole thing! As opposed to the 3 oz we were giving her. So, she quit breastfeeding (sad) and now we're on strictly formula. I'm a little depressed about that. I sort of feel like I failed at what every woman is born to do.

But, the flip side of that is now I don't have to watch what I do in case it can contaminate my milk, so it's like a free world now.

I've been really bad, lately. I've become addicted to destorting my reality. Like I was before I got pregnant. I don't want to be this person. I don't know why I feel so drawn to it, but I just do. It's all I think about lately. I think maybe its because it purifies my thoughts so that they come out nice and even and fresh and not polluted with garbage and nonsense. I feel like I can truly write and draw things that matter. But, I'm a mom now...so I have to draw the line somewhere.

I guess I'll write later on....