And I mean that figuratively and literally.
Today is the day that I start to get my life together. Because, just by looking at the state of my apartment 90% of the time, you can tell that my life is not together.
If I continue at this pace, I will accomplish nothing that I want to accomplish because I'm just too damn lazy. I'm probably the laziest person I know. (Aside from a few people at work, but thats work. I'm not lazy at work for some reason.) I had this revelation last night at about 1 a.m. that I need to turn my life around. I'm not happy living this way.
So goodbye bitterness, goodbye laziness, goodbye not finishing things I've started.
I'm going to take my organized mind and help make my body organized too. Because, believe it or not, I *do* have an organized mind. I make lists like crazy and outline and analyze the shit out of things. Thats why this is all so frustrating to me, b/c its not like all of me is lazy. That means I can see what needs done but I can't motivate myself to do it.
This isn't just a change in laziness, this is a change in attitude. I need to let things roll off my back easier. So yeah, some of my friends don't call me so often. But I know they aren't doing it on purpose. And I'm much happier when I'm on good terms with them so why put myself though hell just to make a point? How completly ascenine.
Other then this new found lease on life, nothing really has been happening. I went to the ER Weds because I was getting horrible headaches and would go blind in one eye. The blindness only happened once, and I would get blurred vision with the rest. Then yesterday, my painters came, so I bet this is all linked to that. Which, is a little embarassing that I went to the ER then. Next thing you know, I'll be rushing off there again because I think I'm hemorraging. You'd think after 7 years of "being a woman", I would have figured out the signs by now.
Well, according to my new attitude, I shouldn't be on the computer right now, I should be doing something resourceful...like cleaning up my house. So toodles.