I just don't know what direction my life is going. You know, besides the family direction. I talked to these chick I've known for a while for a little bit yesterday. She's in the Vagina Monologues with me, and she told me how she graduated from Kent with a degree in advertising and she is 31 and she still doesn't have a job in her field. She said it's madness trying to get a job in advertising lately b/c of the economy.So....what am I gonna do? I have no idea what I want to do. Well, thats not true. I know what I WANT to do, but nowadays you have to be realistic.
RAH! I just feel like I'm meant for something bigger then this. I don't want to waste my potential. God made me the way I am and I want to use it. But how do I use it? I have no clue. I don't even know how to get a clue, thats how far behind I am. All I know is I feel like I can't give up. I'm made out of big dreams and if I put my big dream-self in a little dream world, I think I might wither and die.
Sometimes I wish I was cut out for the real world. That I could be happy just working in an office or something. It would be so much easier that way.
Also, I'm in a mood b/c of Jasmine. We got in a tiff on Friday b/c I told her I was too broke and tired to go out. Which is completly true. Well, she thinks I was making it up and when my phone died, she thought I turned it off on purpose to avoid it. I just wish she could be more understanding about my life right now. I have responsibilities to people now. I can't go out and waste money at a bar when Jamie and I have 800$ of bills that need paid by April and 10$ in our bank account. Thats really frivolous of me. (to be honest, I don't really know what that word means...just that it sounds right in that sentence) So now, I have no one to call to talk to. So, should I apoligize? I mean, I don't really think I did anything wrong. Well, now that I'm writing it down, I think it was all just a misunderstanding. I guess I'll text her ::sigh::
So, there is my statement. In other news, my "Show All" rehearsal last night went VERY well. Dan (the director) told me I was right on and that he had no notes for me. Thats always nice to hear :-)
I've been stalling cleaning too long.