There were ::gasp!:: 13 of us + a Ba and since we are all avid seafood lovers (to the extreme...believe me. It's almost embarassing how much we can inhale.), all you can eat crab legs is heaven to us. So here's how it went; The server would bring out the tray of crab legs, we would all make a mad dash to the buffet, and within 2 minutes max, all the crablegs would be gone. I honestly don't think that anyone else in the restaurant got any. And then, there would be no talking at the table. All you would hear is sucking and cracking noises..that is until we were out. Then all of our heads would be peeking and peering at the buffet table...waiting for them to replenish us. And after 15 minutes or so (those suckers were SLOW), we would all, yet again, mull the buffet. Rinse and repeat this about 6 times, add a Chinese birthday song, 100$ worth of gift certificates, and Marci screaming "OW!!!" over and over, and you get my family birthday dinner.
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Here's another useless fact; After 4 months of having Moses, Pywacket, my beloved siamese, is FINALLY coming out of the basement. Not only that, she's been kicking Moses' ass! He's actually scared of her! She chases him into the other room every time! His bark is SO much bigger then his bite. He's the pussy in this relationship.
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Today was a pretty nothing day. Jamie and I went to lunch and then went to the mall to spend some of my certificates. Marci was a TERROR at the mall. OMG even thinking about it right now is making me edgy. It was So stressful. I really hate taking her shopping now.
I'm feeling a little bit better about us. I think things are going better then the last big fight. We still talk about things every day, and I feel a little more commited to changing myself then I did before. I make sure to ask him "How do you feel about us today" daily. That way, we can talk about things when they come up, instead of pushing them down until they pop.
He's opening up more, too. I think that was a big part of why I went astray. It's like, I technically KNEW he loved me, but I didn't feel it. So,I think that when I thought that I was losing love for him, it was really just cooling off. It was always still there, but it needed some spark to set it blazing again so it wouldn't be pushed into the background. That got me confused. I really don't think I ever stopped loving Jamie...or fell out of love with him...I think that I just wasn't paying enough attention to it. He IS the love of my life.
Today, at dinner, he was a lot more open. In the past, whenever I asked him certain things like "what do you love about me" or "what turns you on about me" he would ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS say "I don't know babe! Stop asking me these questions!" And he would sometimes get annoyed. But I need to hear that. I need to hear what he treasures about me...what made him fall in love with me. Right now, I am very out of love with myself. But, knowing why I'm loved by someone else will not only help me love myself, but it will help me love HIM better. So, anyway, today at lunch I said "What turns you on about me?" And I was convinced he was going to say "I don't know." But instead, he looks over his shoulder, he leans into me and whispers "when you wear thongs." Now, I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is a HUGE step for us. And it made me feel really sexy and appreciated. And I loved how he made it seem like a dirty secret.
I ALSO had way too much wine at lunch and was sort of drunk at 2pm. And do you want to know whats even sadder? I only had one glass. Ferrante Riesling...I don't know if you can get it out of Ohio...if you can't, I feel bad for you because it is INCREDIBLY delicious. I'm becoming obsessed.
In closing, I would like to say that I feel really hopeful and confident in Jamie and I now. I think we can really make things work out and maybe-just maybe-get back to perfect.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins~ 1 Peter 4:8