I'm so "bah humbug" today. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I'm in this weird hazy funk. I took a 3 hour nap and I could of easily slept more, but I decided to get up and let Jamie sleep a little bit. Right now, Marci is asleep on her new Dora chair and I'm contemplating going to sleep too, but there is too much stuff to do.

I've been like this for days now. It seems like all week, I've been trying to capture the Christmas spirit and cheer up, but its been slipping through my fingers. Actually, I think Damons completly crushed my Christmas spirit in its big, barbeque sauce covered hands. I've tried listening to Christmas music, sitting by my glowing tree with a warm cup of hot chocolate, watching Christmas movies..everything. But nothing is getting me out of this funk. Jamie askes me every day why I'm like this. I think I'm depressed, but I don't know why I am. All I know is that I hate feeling like this. So negative.

Today doesn't feel like Christmas. The house isn't bathed in warm light. Its wet and dreary outside and about 50 degrees. All the beautiful snow of last week has melted in the last couple days. There is absolutly nothing to eat in my apartment-let alone holiday treats. And, I missed mass last night b/c Marci couldn't get her stinkums out and was screaming. Poor girl.

I just want to be happy right now. Be cheery. I want to WANT to go to my Dad's for dinner, instead of this strange desire to sit on my couch all night eating chips and dip in my pajamas. I'm just so sick of this. I feel so strange.

Well, all my siblings and their families are coming home tomorrow for our big Christmas. Maybe that will cheer me up. But for now, I guess I should red up the apartment.