Jamie's been...weird again, I guess. I'm not really sure. The only thing I AM sure of is being unsure! I hate how much this "is he happy? is he cheating? does he still love me?" shit consume my mind. It makes me sick to my stomach. I hate how distant he can feel.
And what else sucks about it is I am the exact opposite. I feel more in love with him every day! There used to be times when I would be able to feel like, if something happened between me and Jamie I could find someone else. Now, I can NOT picture myself with anyone else at ALL and I don't want to. Sometimes I try to detach myself from him, even just a little bit to ease this rejection and pain I feel but just when I think I got the hang of it, he comes home from school or he walks in the room and my head spins all over again. There is no one else for me. He is it. I just wish I knew for sure if he felt the same.
Its not all bad. There are little pockets when I feel like everything is ok and I shouldn't worry. I don't know. Maybe I am thinking into things too much.
Besides all that, nothing has been going on. Its been absolutely BEAUTIFUL here. Sunny and 70s. And we've definately been taking advantage of it. I love how much the sun and the weather effect my mood.
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Marci's entering a whole new stage and I'm not personally fond of it. Her need to test limits and boundries is very tiring. She has been talking back and sassing me (did I just say sassing? Am I 70 years old?) like crazy. Her new favorite thing is to say "I'm MAD!" And cross her arms and then go into a room and yell out "I'm in her ALL by MYSELF!" She does it at least three-four times a day.
Squish is, of course, the light of my world. She's been a little fussy lately because she's had a lot of bad diapers and I don't think she feels that great. But right now, she's bouncing her her baby hammock, playing with her toy windchimes. I can't believe she will be 6 months in 2 days!!
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About Jamie's mom......
She got kicked out of the nursing home for......ahhhhhhhh its too gross to say. Lets just say her she sort of took advantage of another resident.
Now she back at her house for the time being because I don't know where else we can put her! I doubt any more homes or assisted livings will take her.
I feel bad for her though. It must be so surreal to have a doctor tell you you are slowly losing your mind and your freedom.
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Ok the baby is upside in her hammock trying to escape. I guess thats my cue.
Here are some new pictures of the girls 
by katieb8311