When I think of Jamie...when I HEAR Jamie talking about these study tours he is going on--Brazil, Dublin, London--I understand the logic in it. 8 days, fully funded classes overseas that will help knock off time until he graduates and eliminate classes he'll have to take which would keep him home more in the coming semesters. But I still can't help feeling this bitterness and resentment about it. He gets to go gallavanting to these foreign countries for eight days with NO kids and expand on his education. While I am stuck here, as always, doing the same thing I do every day. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to hold him back. Its an amazing opprutunity. I just feel sort of left behind.
I really do love being a stay-at-home mom. More so than I thought. I even had the chance for a job recently and I guess I never noticed how commited I am to WHAT I am until the chance to work outside the home and away from the girls came along. I am fine being what I am, but I need to branch out more. I need something that is just for me. Something that makes me feel successful. Freelance wasn't cutting it. I just feel like I am not extraordinary at anything. I am average in most and just a tad above average in some and this makes me sad. Why don't I have aa gift?
Ok enough self pity for today. As Squishy's namesake would say "I can't think about that now. I'll think about it tomorrow."
Yesterday was Marci's FIRST day of preschool!!! No tears from either side. I think doing vacation Bible school really helped with the transition for both of us. We walked her right in, gave her a hug, and left and she was fine and we were fine. She really really loved it. I love catching all the tid bits and trying to piece together her day. Its like a puzzle. However, from what I deciphered, I think she got in trouble or something. She told me her teacher made her cry and "Because I don't listen I can't go outside." Which, to be honest, makes me feel a little uneasy. I think that is a little harsh to tell a three year old on her very first day of school ever. But, my gut is telling me this is what happened: Marci had to go potty, and, like always, took her pants completely off. The teacher told her to put her pants back on and since Marci doesn't know how, she got frustrated when she was trying and started to cry. Then, the teacher told her she can't go outside without any pants on. Anyway, I am going in early tomorrow to talk to the teacher to see what happened. Just because Marci has been talking about it CONSTANTLY so there was obviously an incident.
Alright well I have to clean while Squish is cheery (P.S-I had to edit this entry THREE times to get out all the typos! What is wrong with me??)