I have alot to say and not a whole lot of time to say it.
I've tried so many times to sit down and write but it's hard to find solitude when kids are running around, people are coming over, weird ladies are doing your dishes, and meat trays are being delivered.
Today is the funeral and I am waiting for Greg [my brother] to get out of the shower.
I sound fine to everyone...and myself.....but I'm scared that I'm not. I'm scared that this hasn't hit me yet and when it does, it's going to hit hard.
I mean, I've cried. Hell, I completly broke down at Jamie's. But other then that, it's easier then I expected to get on with life. Is this just a front I'm putting up that I wasn't even aware of?
I don't know the first thing about tackeling these emotions because I've never gone through something like this before. I am in a completly foreign country.