I don't know if it's all the extra hormones coursing through my body or what but my mood is just so unpredictable. I get in these highs where the world is just grand. "Yay! I'm getting married! We got our own apartment! It's snowing!" And then there are days like yesterday, where I got horribly mad at Jamie for "making" me drink milk which made me sick and I cried sparatically for about an hour. I was supposed to be Mrs.Claus at work but I didn't feel well enough to go, so I cried about that too.
Lately everything has just been so intense. Intensely good or intensely bad. Every time I think me and my dad are getting better, something happens and it just pushes me back into the mud. He makes me feel guilty for growing up. I guess thats a good way to put it.
I just have this uncontrollable nature to fix the problems of the people I love. I feel bad for having my own life now because I feel that my dad needs me. We were supposed to be a "team" after my mom died but I am running off and getting married. He's so depressed and its hard to not try and do anything about that. It's even harder not to get upset when what you do doesn't seem to help much. Or at all. I wonder if I'll always feel responsible for his happiness. I really hope not. I think my need to make people happy only brings me down from ignoring my own happiness.
But, I won't think about that now. I have other things to concentrate on. Like weddings, babies, and making enough money. Also, on a side note, I've done very well this semester in school so thats always good.
P.S.-How come Little Ethan was born last year and now he's six? Can anyone tell me this? I just CAN'T get over it.