So, yesterday was my weepy day. Saturday's usually are because I am alone for 10-12 hours in my little apartment.
Saturdays are just a reminder that I am alone. Not just in the apartment, but in my life. I have Jamie, but when he isn't here, I am alone. Everyone else has their own things going on and none of those things ever involve me. I try to make plans with people but they always have something else to do. I'm not angry, or bitter, or resentful of them. I can't blame them. A pregnant woman with a two year old is a lot of baggage. I'm not as fun anymore.
I just get so depressed on Saturdays.
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Another thing that has been getting to me is Jamie.
I'm probably just being paranoid, but I sort of feel like he's somewhere else. Just a little distant.
One thing that makes me think this is the sex issue.
We'll start this off with a funny story:
On Friday, Marci is napping and that is a perfect opprutunity for us to..well, you know. And it had already been like 4 or 5 days (I think 5) so, we're making out and he's kissing my neck and taking off my pants and then he goes "oh shit! I have to pay the car insurance!" and he LEAVES! And I'm just sitting there...stunned that I actually married the man who thinks about paying bills while he's groping his wife's breast.
It just seems that he only tries to get in my pants when the timing is terrible. Usually in the morning. Any time Marci is awake, the timing is terrible. Sure, we could go in the bedroom and close the door, but she would come and bang on it and cry and cry. She doesn't like it when we are together and she's not with us. And then, after she goes to bed, I'll try and it never happens. He's always too tired.
I'm probably blowing this out of proportion. He does work a lot so it's not weird that he's tired at night. I guess I just feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore. He wasn't like this when I was pregnant with Marci. He just doesn't kiss me as much either. I don't know. Maybe I'm being weird. But it's just been bothering me.
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I guess thats it for now. I cleaned the house yesterday and since I have a two-year old toddler tyrant, I have to clean it again