How weird that I write that entry, so full of despair and hopelessness at 5, and by 5:45, I feel so much incredibly better.
On the 45 minute drive to my dad's fiance's for dinner (which went really well, btw), I finally got the nerve to bring up all these issues I have been repressing with Jamie. I didn't want to sound like I was attacking him, so I tried to put it as gently as possible, and it totally worked! We ended up having an INCREDIBLE conversation for the whole 45 minutes and he was so responsive and understanding and made me feel completly better. He acknowledged everything I was feeling, and owned up to it as unintentional and told me he is sorry I don't feel respected and like an equal. And he said that I don't have to work and earn money to get his respect, but that he respects me staying home and raising Marci more than if I was out making money. And then he started thinking of options for MY future and we brainstormed and nothing felt so hopeless anymore! We came to decisions about our roles in the marriage and he told me he is going to be more conscience (or however its spelled) of including me in decisions and whatnot. All in all, I was majorly surprised at what a great conversatin we had.
In other news, I was surprised at my ultrasound appointment today when they decided to give me a 3D ultrasound!! It was the coolest thing EVER! We saw what this new little princess actually looks like. It was like a big orange portrait of her. Maybe I'll try to scan these pictures at my sister's and post them.
She's already 4 lbs 8oz! That is more than I weighed when I was born! I have a feeling she's going to be bigger than Marci.
Ok well, Marci just informed me that she has some stinkums for me to take care of.