Marci is sick. This is her third day with a cold/cough/fever. It sucks that she's like this when I am in such a bad mood because it really stretches my patience and doesn't make things any easier. Everytime I hear her whine, it feels like tiny needles in my skin. Sigh. I'm a horrible mother.
I need to call on my nurturing side to help her instead of getting extremely annoyed by her.
And I have a headache.
And I don't understand why my Dad wants to marry Joy.
I don't want to think too much into it right now, because I don't think that will be any help to my mood either.
GOD I am just so bored! Yeah there are things I could do in the apartment right now, but I'm SO sick of everything I do having some sort of purpose. Why can't I ever do something thats just fun? I never leave the apartment unless its to run an errand or go to the doctor. Its wearing on me.
A small part of me hopes that the baby is a just two to three days late so it would give me a good excuse not to go to my Dad's...::gulp::...I can't even say it...I'll just say "commitment ceremony" on the 4th. The only reason I am saying a "small" part is because I really want my baby in my arms NOW and for pregnancy to be OVER and that overrules any ickyness I may feel about going to my Dad's...thing. Sigh we'll see. At this rate, it feels like she'll NEVER be born, so its a possibility that I'll miss it.
(I just told Marci to shush and it made her cry...I feel bad.)
I feel so isolated here. I don't really feel like I have any friends or anyone I could call over to come visit. The only people I talk to now is my family. I just miss having some connection to people that have things in common with me. Not going into that.
This is the first night Jamie has worked in almost a week. Maybe thats why I'm in such a weird mood, too. I got used to having him around.
This is such a random everywhere entry. I think I'm going to end it and go do something productive and see if that puts me in a better mood.