I realized that I get really stressed if there isn't a plan. I used to pride myself on being spontaneous because I have crazy ideas and what not, but its all a front folks. It's all just carefully planned spontaneousness. Lately, the plan for my life has been pretty foggy and I have been known to spaz out about that. I don't know why. I guess I feel like if I have a plan, then I know where I'm going and how to get there. I think I really need to learn how to relax. Learn how to just let things happen.
Random Complaint: I HATE MY BIRD SO MUCH!!!!
So...since we are on the subject of stressing, I got my hair cut. You know, I don't know whats wrong with me. Why I think I needed to change my appearence. I really don't think I like it. Its up to my chin now. (eee!) And I have bangs. There is something about a new haircut: it can either boost your ego or completly crush it. Unfortuantly, my ego is roadkill. I just feel a lot less attractive. More cute. Like a kid. Or a kitten. I'm workin' with it though. Trying to regain my "hottness". I made some points for my self-made "Katie is Hott" score card. Mike and I went to Structure today and while he was trying on pants (forEVER! He is such a girl!), the rather attractive sales guy was hitting on me. Then when he saw the ring on my finger, and asked if I was engaged, he said "congrats" and walked away. So thats always a plus.
Something odd happened to make me feel something odd towards someone odd. Brian's best friend, Jesse, and I have had a weird relationship. Sort of love and hate. Well, more recently hate but it seemed to be turning around when he would still wave to me and what not. Well, he's in the army and he just got shipped away. I feel really strange about this because we haven't had the best terms recently and you wouldn't think so, but I actually miss him. I mean, there were some really good times with him though. We hung out a lot this past fall, until we had a falling out. He's really funny and a pretty good guy. It feels like, in a way, that he died. I know that seems morbid, but thats just how it feels. Maybe because there is a chance he COULD die, and that I might never see him again and never get to say goodbye. I always hoped that things would get better with us again. There is even a collage of his pictures with an American flag at Orange Julius (he works there.). I'm just going to pray for him and hope he comes back ok.
Well, I guess thats all I have to say. I've been pretty lazy here so I best get some stuff done.