It's funny what being in love does to you. It's like, when you're not in love, you don't have your glasses on. The world is blurry and certain things are harder to understand. Maybe not hard to understand, maybe hard to understand fully. When you fall in love, all your senses are heightened....especially your emotional senses. The world is both a more beautiful and more tragic place. You get more enthralled at love stories, for instance. Grinning is inevitable. You should have seen me watching the season finale of Friends. I was smiling and squeeling the whole time. I could barely contain myself. It's not just romantic feelings that are heightened, it's pretty much every feeling. Every feeling that you ever had is automatically stregthened. We watched "Life is Beautiful" tonight and I always found the Holocaust to be the most devastating, disturbing thing in history (in my opinion) and tonight, all those feelings were stirred up and so much more powerful. "Life is Beautiful" does a good job of sugaring up everything, but yet, at the end of the movie, I started balling in Jamie's arms. He said "Katie it's just a movie" and I said "No it's not." And it's not. You know when you see horrible things in a movie and it gives you an unsettled feeling? You can usually shake it by telling yourself that its just a movie. But all these horrible things really happened. What they did in those camps is worse then any horror movie. It wasn't the movie I was crying about. It was the whole situation. What people had to go through. What they endured. I found myself aching to be one of the American soldiers who liberated these camps. To be a person who helped these people. I wanted it *so* bad right then. To help them. I felt so helpless being born so long after this happened. I must sound so silly. Going on about something that happened 60 years ago. It's just that, it's never felt so strong to me before. These feelings I mean. The thing that got to me the most wasn't just the torture these people had to go through, but the fact that so many had to leave people they loved without knowing if they are going to live through it or not. I looked at Jamie and just the thought of having to do that filled my body with sadness. I can't even imagine guards dragging me away from him or beating him. Or torturing him. Thats MY Jamie. Not just another person. Its the man I love. They did that to people. That thought just haunts me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that these feelings were never so strong as they are now that I'm in love. All my emotions used to be so much more watered down. Life is just so much more potent when you have someone to live for.

Now onto something a lot less depressing.

The zoo.

Jamie and I had a beautiful day yesterday. We spent the whole day in Cleveland. We went to the zoo, to the rainforest, and to Tower City. I was just so rich in Jamie. I felt like I couldn't be without holding him for most the day. The zoo and rainforest were SO much fun. It was a gorgeous day and all the animals were out. We got some really great pictures. There was this adorable lemur that both Jamie and I fell in love with. No matter what he did, he was always funny looking. His eyes were so wide and yellow and his nose came to such an odd point. He was so weird looking! I love funny looking things! Animals are so amazing. God created so many amazing things. I'm actually really considering changing my major to zoolology. I think if I got to work at a zoo directly with these animals, I would never have a day that I wouldn't want to go to work. I don't know what animal though. I was thinking maybe otters, seals or penquins. But monkeys would be fun too. Anyway, back to my favorite monkey--Jamie. I just felt so filled with him. Everything was about him yesterday. And everyday, but a lot yesterday.I could have absorbed him and still wouldn't feel like I was close enough to him. I realized that my life wouldn't have much meaning without him. I think thats how its supposed to be. It was one of the best days with him in a while. We've had a couple of bumps recently, but nothing to knock us off. We always come out a lot steadier then we went in.

I'm listening to my favorite song.

Yellow.

"Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you."

Whenever I feel most in love, I listen to this song.