I think I'm getting the flu. Which royally sucks since I'm leaving in 11 days. But, I guess its not that bad because it might be gone by then. My mouth feels very hot and my eyes hurt along with my head. Thats how I feel when I'm getting sick. Isn't it funny how different people have different ways of telling when they're getting sick? Like Jamie, for example, says his hair always hurts.
So, I got my car. I am SO attached to it already. It's a little yellow tracker and a convertable. It's a 91 and so cute and precious. The day I got it, I went right out and bought a pineapple keychain and an air freshener that says "Your Mom". Unfortunatlly, it doesn't smell very pleasant. Jamie made me a "Car Christening" CD and we just cruise around this tiny town in my tiny town blasting Something Corporate. You know its my car when you hear Something Corporate coming from it. Bad news though. We can't drive it anymore until I get my liscense b/c it's gonna cost 1500$ to insure it. So she sits in my garage vegging out until the fateful day I get my liscense. Well, I guess its the push I need to get it. But I still can't get it until after Germany so she's gonna be sitting there until mid October.
I guess thats all thats really happened in the last 6 days. Even though uneventful,they've been crazy. I've been crazy. Its hard for me to talk about it now when I feel fine...well, emotionally fine. I got the flu thing going on. I just think there is something wrong with me. I can be happy one minute and then crippling depressed the next. When it strangles my whole body and I can't move. For no reason. The world has become so gray to me. Sometimes I don't even want to go on. I don't want to die, but I don't want to be awake. I think things when I'm in this state that aren't healthy. Wondering what I could take to make me unconsious because the pain rips at me and is almost unbearable. But the thing that scars most is that its for no reason. If I knew the reason, I could deal with it. But I don't so I can't. A lot of it sparks from little stressers. I don't handle stress well. At all. It's like I become two different people. The Katie I've always been and then this empty, hollow person that sits there, barely a shadow. I've found, though, that one thing to bounce me back is my friends. I don't know why. I just can't help being happy when I'm with them recently. I always have so much fun with them. My Carla and My Emily. Emily and I went out with Dave and Mark and those guys last night to JJ's. All we did was sit around, but it was still so refreshing just being OUT. I missed out. I miss my friends. I wish I could spend more time with them. I'm SO busy next week though. I need to get all sorts of cash for Germany. 1 week from Monday!