So today turned out to be better than I expected. No real reason, I was just in a good mood. My dad took me shopping at Kohls and bought the Ba some incredibly adorable outfits, and then work was just really laid back tonight so ......yeah I don't know where this is going.

Anyway, I'm glad today went so well b/c yesterday went so not so well. I don't know what it is--I've just been down in the dumps a little bit due to school and the whole "what the hell am I gonna do with my life?" thing. I gave a speech on the Kent State shootings in my speech class and it kicked some major ass, but then I got to ecology and...yet again...had no idea what was going on. I don't even know why I was surprised. I've figured out that I am almost completly right brained so it's no wonder that class is another language to me. But that is not a good enough excuse for me failing it. I really don't know how I'm going to pass it, to be honest. I feel utterly hopeless. Ok so thats that...so I go to history and I found out that my predictions about my test were exactly right: I failed it. I don't know what is going on with me. Especially since I'm actually trying this semester. But I guess I could always try more. You can always try more. I just don't have the energy for MORE. I don't have any focus or drive for MORE. Sometimes I find I don't have any focus or drive for anything. I'm thinking about getting myself checked outto make sure that there isn't anything mental going on that is infesting my mind with laziness. We'll see.

In other news, I think I finally found my calling. I think its funny that I use the word "found" b/c its been right in front of my face the whole time, I've just been ignoring it. I'm going to finally face the fact that writing is my #1 talent, and I can't run away from it just b/c it might be a little more competitive then I would like. If I just chose an occupation b/c it was easy, I wouldn't be doing something that I loved. And I love writing. More specifically, I'd like to write childrens books. I'm not talking like...little little kids books.....like Goodnight Moon (yeah don't even get me started on THAT book),I mean children's books that are written for kids but can be enjoyed my adults to. And this way, I can be as fantastical and ridiculas as I want, and I can also incorporate my art--something else I'm pretty good at. So, I think thats my plan. I've been looking into the requirements and I think I'm going to go talk to an advisor tomorrow. Lets hope this one sticks, eh?