It is just so hard to keep up with everything. Not only with the house, but also with spending some quality time with my daughter. I wish Supernanny would come to my house and make a "family routine." I just think I need some structure to my life. This guilt and fatigue and messy house is overwhelming me.

How can I get more organized? How can I get into a routine? How can I learn how to keep up with things and be in control? Today was my day to clean the house b/c it is the ONLY day to do it before Jamie has surgery on Monday.(Nothing major. Outpatient) And I am just SO incredibly tired and unmotivated. We had a garage sale today and I woke up at 7:30 (thats early for me!) and it completly ruined my entire day energy-wise. I feel like I could crash right now on the keyboard.

And whenever I look over and see Marci watching tv or playing by herself I want to absolutly cry. It shreds my heart to pieces. She deserves SO much more. How to I learn to give that to her?

I need more help from Jamie. He's doing his best, but I need a little more. UG I feel like I'm drowing in all that there is to do and keep up with.

Hopefully tomorrow is better. Hopefully I can get the energy to get off my ass right now and do the dishes and start cooking. Did you hear me? I said START cooking! It's 9:13 pm!