I am giving her a terrible childhood. Who wants to live their life getting screamed at by their mother and doing nothing but watching tv because there is no one around to play with you.

Marci is certainly suffering the most from whatever it is going on with me.

I feel like absolute shit. Everything she does hits a nerve with me and little accidents I take to the next level and reem her out about them. She is constantly asking if I love her or if I'm mad at her. My daughter is doubting if I love her.

I don't know why I can't help it. I just yelled at her just now as I type this because she was being loud. It's like I can't handle her anymore.

And there is no help.

We have no money so Jamie has to work all the time and even when he's not working, we have no money to do anything fun with her. I don't know how we fell so behind.

I just hate that how I'm feeling is affecting another person so much. Its enough to make me want to jump off a bridge.