It was great.
I know it sounds surprising, but I'm not going to go into that right now.
My life changed forever yesterday.
I'm despretly trying to be happy.
To be excited.
Instead of the regret and the loss of self I feel.
I feel guilty because of the feelings I'm repressing.
But what can I do?
Everything is done.
Myswell accept it and deal.
Deal seems like such a small word for this situation.
I'm afraid.
I'm lost.
I feel so lost.
I lost my generation.
I lost the crazy days of being 20.
I feel like this is a dream world.
This can't be happening.
I'm going to wake up any second.
.............
......................
..........................
But I don't.
I open my eyes and I see the same glass of juice next to me, the same little dog, and the same insanely messy house that demands my attention.
Everything is the same.
Yet nothing is the same.
Nothing anymore.
What the FUCK am I going to do???