I really don't want to go.
But I guess I need to stop looking at it so negatively or else I'll have an even more terrible time.
Lately, I've been yearning for so much more then this house, and that job, and this life.
It feels that, since I'm "growing up" quicker then I expected, that the rest of my life should grow up too.
I want a beautiful home (that doesn't wreak like this one does...this one doesn't smell bad by social standards, just too...candely for me...I can't stand it) where I feel warm inside. I want a good job that I don't feel degraded in. I don't want to worry about money anymore. I want to have silk pajama's to lay around my beautiful living room in and sit next to the fire place watching movies with my husband. I want to be able to feel like I deserve to have the autumn/winter spirit. Cause in a life like this, I don't think I do.
I guess thats not a very uncommon dream. I've just been wanting it more then ever lately.
All I can say is I just can't wait till I move out.