I've tamed my anger with Jamie and we've been having a wonderful time together. Everyday, we've gotten a good hour at the pool just laying out and talking. He was telling me how much he missed the beach and how sometimes he gets depressed thinking about how our life used to be. I understand him completly. Yesterday was a year ago that we went to the Outer Banks. That vacation was the most relaxing expierience. Just drinking mud slides on Rod's couch, waking up early and going to the beach, and driving down the coast with my beautiful fiancee. It was just amazing! And to think that that was a year ago seems unreal. It seems like that kind of life is so much further away then a year ago, but then it feels like yesterday. But, even though things have changed so drastically, I still hold no regrets when I look into the dark eyes of my little Marci as she looks around this new world she's in. It's hard to be depressed when you have such a little jelly bean around you.

I'm really happy because she started taking a pacifier (or a teutie, as we call it) and today she took her first bottle! This opens up a whole new dimension for me. Not only do I not have to sacrifice my fingers to her mouth for 45 minutes, but I can go out for more then 2 hours without worrying that she's hungry. So tomorrow, I'm going to McNeils and getting my drink on. HOORAY! A piece of normalcy for the 20 year old girl at last.