Me and Jamie aren't (weren't) doing well at ALL. It feels (felt) like our marriage is (was) falling apart. Like, the idea of divorce crossed my mind too many times a day. We had an "incident" last Friday. All I can say is it was an "incident". But it was enough to make me want to leave him. We fight pretty much 20x a day and I start a lot of the fights just for kicks. And I have to admit it--I've thought about what it would be like to have sex or kiss someone else. Not that I've done it or would do it...but I've thought about it. I guess the bottom line is is that I'm not happy in this marriage. But I know I WANT to be happy. I WANT to want to be with Jamie. I'm just super confused. It's like my brain argues with itself all day. I never know what I'm thinking because I always think 2 or more conflicting things...so what am I REALLY thinking? What do I REALLY want? For the first time, I'm not sure if its Jamie.
Sigh.
Life is so complex.
P.S-I talked to Brian Gilmore . Crazy, huh?