1.Saw baby elephant and baby gorilla
2.Baby Jake told me "You not Jake, you a Katie"
3.It took Jamie 8 hours to get home from Columbus b/c of a stopped traffic jame
4.The kid blatently looking down my shirt at school
6.Naya Bingy with Mike E, Dave and Jasmine
7.My 20 minute long conversation with a Mr.Brian Gilmore.
Yes.
I talked to Brian for the first time in 2 1/2 years.
"Would you let me go? I didn't think so."
I don't know what it is with me and Brian and Patrick.
I can't let them go.
I had been talking to Jesse on Weds, and just by him talking about Brian and I got me all wound up. I just wanted to hear more. More about Brian, more about us, more about what he thought of us. He said something though."I mean,Brian didnt really like you the last couple months of your relationship." Really? Despite my behavior, I still cared about him. I wonder if thats true. I mean, it does make sense. He never seemed to fight when I threatened to break up. God. I was an atrocious girlfriend.
After my suggestion that Brian and I have lunch sometime, Jamie asked if I thought I could ever have feelings for Brian again.
Answer:Yes
IF I wasn't married.
But since I am, I can't. Or atleast any threatening ones. The relationships b/w Jamie and Brian are hardly comparable. Brian never inspired me. Jamie does.
Patrick.
Oh, Patrick Patrick Patrick.
There's someone I can still say "Rah!" to.
You know they are not out of your head when you can still get mad at them.
He just plays these stupid games with me.
I play stupid games with him too.
I knew by him not answering my emails or returning my calls that it meant he had someone.
I was SO right. But why couldn't he say "I'm in Toledo with my girlfriend so I can't come see you."? But no. When I say "I'd love to see you" he says "I'd love to be the gov. of California." I mean, what is that? I don't see how he has to cut me out of his life now just because he has a girlfriend. I didn't cut him out when I got married.
Maybe its because he still loves me.
Today, I was day dreaming about making a surprise visit to Daytona and knocking on his door with my makeup all done and my hair really pretty and wearing a really hot outfit. And then breaking him and this girl up just because.
I really hate that there is another girl. A threat to my legacy and rank at "love of his life."
Do I still have feelings for him, or am I just upset that he's letting go?
This isn't fair to that boy. That Patrick.
I'm such a complex bitch.