August 19, 2005 � Once upon a time there was a school called Degrassi....
"And when I see you I really see you upside down"~Deathcab for Cutie

I think I'm in love with love. I think that is my problem. I search for that passionate romance. That love that absorbs everything and soaks it all in reds and pinks and hazy blues.

Well, what I need to learn is that that love doesn't exist for very long. You get comfortable and love gets comfortable and you dissolve into one another until you're one person.

I grow tired of it easily. I have a short attention span with love. As soon as it starts to wilt, I want to bolt. Look for something fresher...newer. I need to learn not to want to do that. I've always had one foot out the door with all of my relationships. But I want...no, I NEED Jamie and I to work.

And its nothing with him. He's absolutly perfect. Its me. It's my own mind thats fucked. But, I'm working on that. I'm working on all of it.
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I went to my "psychiatric evaluation" today and found out I have ADD so they put me on meds. Not exactly what I wanted, but hey, if it helps me get my shit straight then maybe I can start dealing with whats left. Because I'm really screwed up. Really. And if I don't learn how to deal with it and sift through all the bullshit and get to the black and white then I'm going to crack.

Other than that, nothing has been going on. Just thinking, working, sleeping, Ba-ing, rinse and repeat. I went to Columbus to see my new nephew Luke. Marci really had no real interest in him except to feed him a magnet. Or attempt to, anyhow.

Speaking of the little mischief-maker...time to manage her.

She's my passionate love.