The way I feel physically is really effecting how I feel mentally. I know I've gone into this before. But, I am just so frustrated. Nothing helps. Nothing works. It's never better tomorrow. Just the same old sickness over and over, most days with someone new added in like a migraine, or a bladder infection, or dizzyness. I am forgetting what it feels like to feel normal.
And then today had the looks to be good. Jamie and I had the whole day off together. He woke me up this morning with breakfast in bed and kisses. I actually felt somewhat ok enough to clean the house, which was our plan all day, and I had freeze pops in the freezer (they are my new best friend!).
And then my Dad calls.
He calls to get my "opinion" on an engagement ring for Joy. Not exactly what I want to hear, but hey, I can handle it..they aren't married yet. Myswell not get all worked up and humor him a little.
And then he says it.
"Well, I was thinking about taking Mom's engagement ring and wedding band and getting it made into a ring for Joy."
What???
"Dad are you serious????"
"Your sisters didn't think that was a good idea."
Phew. He came to his senses.
"So, I decided that I am just going to pawn them and get money for a new ring."
I couldn't even speak. I don't even remember what I said. All I know is the next thing, is he was talking about why don't I like Joy? "Joy is really concerned that you don't like her."
I said "Dad..I don't want to talk about this." "WHY THE HELL NOT???" I was getting too worked up. "Because I'm not supposed to get stressed out and you are majorly stressing me out!" And then I hung up. And then I started hysterically crying.
The rings that bonded my parents in marriage are going to be in some shady pawn shop so my Dad can have money to buy a new shiney one for his whore. Don't even think that I might want the rings. No. Don't think that maybe they should stay with the family. Just as long as you get what you want. And that bitch gets what she wants.
I don't know what to do.
I can't talk about this anymore.
I'm getting too upset.
I just feel like I don't even know my father.