It's 1:31 a.m. Even though I've worked through 7 hours of hell at Damons, I can't sleep. Today at work was one of the worst days I've ever at at any work. Lets just say that Damons' isn't without it's assholes. Especially among the staff.

I was watching Mad About You. It was one of the late ones where they already had the baby. But I noticed that they always just kept leaving. I mean, where's the baby? Why do you keep leaving her alone? I need to get over the fact that t.v. is not reality.

I wish Carla would get on.

I felt so bad for myself tonight. I got stiffed on a few tables and got stuck doing the worst kind of closing side work. Not to mention the number of other things that went wrong today. By the end of the night, I was almost in tears from fatique and frustration. As I was sweeping the dining room, I realized what a fucking wimp I am. People are going through 100x worse then I am and I'm acting like a spoiled princess. I really need to get thicker skin. I'm wondering if I'm always gonna be like this. I let people walk over me a lot and have to use everything in me to hold myself back from crying when things get rough. I want to be strong. I don't want to be that pathetic little girl that people have to take care of all the time. It just really upsets me that I'm so frail and delicate all the time. It's nice to have people take care of me once and a while, but thats how I get by. Thats just so....ug...I can't even find words. I just have such a hard time sticking up for myself and doing shit for myself. It's something I really hate about me. I'm such a porceline doll. And not in a good way. Sigh. I'm.....a....disastor.

Also, my writing sucks lately. And I really wish more people read my diary.

Oh boo hoo for Katie. She's so forlorn. I'm such a disgrace.

Fucking a.