She's growing so much! She'll be 6 months next Friday and she's such a butter ball! Her legs are very rolly polly, by far my favorite thing to squish. She talks like its her JOB. My apartment is constantly filled with her coos and squeels and gurgles. She found her voice, and she wants everyone to know it. Still not rolling over, but I'm not too worried seeing as how she seems to be advanced in the language department. She is, however, very dedicated to sitting. She tries to pull herself up in her chair all the time, which can get scary when she almost tips herself off the coffee table. Hence, her watching her videos on the floor now. Speaking of her videos, she just adores the tv. She loves Dora the Explorer and if her dvds are over or she doesn't like whats on and your not paying attention, she does this special little squeel. Oh its too adorable. Ok, rambling.
So, I've been doing a little better lately. Not too sure why, but I am. My dad and Isaac left for Germany yesterday. I'm uber jealous. Isaac will be living there till July or August. It's really weird to think that he won't see Marci again until she's walking and talking. This arrangement will be really good for him. Hopefully he will come back a little more mature. Tia came back from Africa Monday. God, everyone is traveling. I need to travel. I feel trapped in this gray town. I'm sick of seeing the same surroundings. I need a change of scenery.
Jamie and I are extremly broke broke broke. Like, I'm talking scroungin for quarters for McDonald's dollar menu broke. I feel like the solution to our money problem is right in front of me, but I can't get to it. I can't' see it yet, but I think that with enough concentration, I can figure it out.
Speaking of money situations, Jamie and I were thinking about moving in with my dad. To this idea, I am not a fan. I just love this apartment. I love being on my own. I'm excited to have my own Christmas here and Thanksgiving. This is Marci's first home, and I just feel like a real family here. This feels like home now. I can't imagine not putting in a code to get in a gate to get to my house. Not walking up those flights of stairs to the door with 508 on it. Not hearing other people in stomping in their apartments, or running water. Or walking into the building and smelling whatever anyone is cooking. This is where I want to be. I know financially its not the best but I just don't know if I can go back to living with my Dad. When I lived there, I dreamed of the day of when I'd break free. Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad, but he can be such a nag and a preacher. Plus, what about the privacy issue? I just don't know if I'm going to be happy there.
Nothing ever works the way I think it will. That's not always a bad thing,however. Maybe its not supposed to for me. Maybe I should just surrender to fate and stop trying to fight it. Maybe I don't need a "plan". You wouldn't think I was a "plan" person, but I truly am. Without one, I go beserk. I need an order and a list to things or I feel like they are just all scrambled around me, happening in odd sequence and I have no control. Control. Maybe thats what I like. I do always need to have the remote.
Well, this squirmy Ba is demanding my attention.