This is such AGONY. My mouth is dry, I have killer migraines, I have a bladder infection, and anything I put down my throat ends up coming back so even though I am despretyly thirsty and hungry all the time, I am terrified.

Let me tell you something--this kid will be reminded of what I'm going through every day of his or her life. She/he will know "Wow...I caused my mom a lot of grief when she was pregnant". It will be drilled into his/her head.

I really don't feel like I can work today, but I feel bad about calling off. Sigh. I don't know what to do.
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Work wasn't bad yesterday. The only weird thing was this one server made a really direct pass at me. I'm used to getting hit on, but this was more serious. More like "No one has to know" stuff. I got in trouble with that "no one has to know" business before, and this time, the guy wasn't even a little bit tempting. I was drawn into Frank. Something about him made me take the chance. But not this time. I politely declined and added "I love my husband" for good measure. And then, after work, I came home and cuddled into a sweet bath with my Jamie Love and felt good about myself.

I am actually starting to feel good about myself again. I don't know what prompted it. I'm feeling less guilty and more comfortable in my own skin. I even had a dream about it last night. I dreamt that this guy Steve I know tried to seduce me (it was the same situation that happened with Frank...like, exactly...which was weird.) and I kept saying no but he kept persisting. So then I got very stern with him and said "You are not just asking me to have sex with you. You are asking me to jeopardize my entire marriage and you are asking me to live with the guilt of cheating on a good man. I just got over that." Isn't that weird how dreams parallel our lives? Ok. Thats enough of that.

Sigh. Maybe I'll call and ask if someone will pick up my shift instead of calling off. That should work.

Pray that these morning sickness demons are excorsised (or however you spell it)! I can't live like this!