i've been denying it.making excuses. but i can't hide anymore. i have to face it, as scary as it may be. i think she has colic ::gasp!:: marci had it and it was hell on earth for three months. I was really praying Scarlett would be easier. I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I've had hardly any sleep in the last week, I have a raging breast infection that is making me feel like shit and I can't get over it because I can't rest long enough, and I am still racked with guilt over not being able to spend enough time with Marci. I mean I am literally infested with guilt. Nothing anyone says helps. I think I would handle things SO much better if I didn't have this guilty conscience 24/7. I swear I'm the guiltiest mom ever. So, all in all, its been rough lately.
The 8th was my official 4 year anniversary on diaryland. FOUR years! And to think I wrote on Livejournal for two years before that. I have the last six years of my live documented. CRAZY!
I would also like to say my daughter is a bully. I had playgroup here on Friday and she literally tormented the other kids. This little girl, Katina, is 17 months and became Marci's main target. She would chase her, push her down, take her toys, make her cry. And the whole time, she had this impish, devilish grin on her face. None of the kids wanted to play with her! Even the four year olds were getting bullied. I was SO incredibly embarassed. My Marci is not like this ever. I don't know what came over her. I really hope this isn't how she acts around other kids. I really hope this was just a one-time thing.
Ok well I have to go get ready to go to the hospital. We're taking Scarlett in to get weighed and get checked out by the lactation consultant. Hopefully everything is ok.