This is my life when I'm home:-Keeping Marci out of my makeup
-Picking clothes up off the floor
-Letting Moses in and out of the room
-Putting videos on for Marci and dealing with her whining b/c she's seen all her videos 6007890 times
-Putting all the books back on the bookshelf after Marci rips them off time after time
-Changing diapers
-Checking outside to see if Sharon is gone, and if so, going downstairs for food for Marci and me. If not, bringing down my cell phone and talking on it while I feed myself and Marciba.
-Scrolling through my digital cable guide and realizing that everything I want to watch are on the stations that are fucked up (i.e-in Spanish, no sound, or just fizzing in the background)...which are most of them
-Getting on the computer and letting Marci run a muck on the room.
-Cleaning up after Marci's muck-running.
-Attempting to put Marci down for a nap or for the night. It takes many many attempts at this.
-Being as quiet as possible when Marci is sleeping b/c she's a very light sleeper and there is no where else for her to sleep but in my room.
-Dealing with her whining from being so bored in such a confined place. I don't blame her.
And thats pretty much what I do day after day. I get small breaks for work and school, however, but thats pretty much my life.
I'm so stressed out right now. For one, I told Jamie not to let Ba take two naps today b/c we JUST got her back on her 10:30/11 sleep schedule as opposed to her 1:30/2 am sleep schedule she has when she takes two naps. And then what does he do? Oh yeah, let her take a nap. So I come home from an EXTREMELY trying day at work (I don't even want to go into it, but it sucked major balls) and he tells me he's going out. So now, here I am, all alone in this prison I call my room, enjoying the very rare occurance that is Marci watching a DVD without fussing. And I'm freaking exhausted, but hey hey! I have to be up until at least 1:30 with this Ba while Jamie is out! I really hope he comes home early. I really need some "me" time. That sounds so lame, but its true.
Gripe Gripe Gripe.
Also, I'm struggling with my ADD meds. I've lost SO much weight from them and when I take them, I get sick after pretty much anything I eat. However, when I don't take them, I slug around the world like a big, lazy ball of sludge. Too zombie to do anything productive, but yet I can be hungry and eat without feeling like I'm going to puke my guts out. My meds really do a lot of good, too. For one, I haven't been depressed since I started them b/c I have so much more energy and motivation AND I'm doing better in school. They make me feel happy (most of the time. Sometimes they make me really anxious.). But I'm wasting away to nothing. I didn't take them for a couple days, and I ate 3 meals a day like you are supposed to PLUS snacks, and I'm already fitting into my old pants better. Before, only 1's and 0's fit right b/c of my drastic weight-loss. So, I'm really at a loss of what to do. Any advice?
Well, this entry is going to be nothing but whining and griping so I should just end it here.