I have become a target.
It might seem silly that a playgroup has so much soap opera potential, and it is silly. Thats what makes it even worse.
Long story short:
Two rival playgroups in our local area and one of our members that was a member of the other one as well used me as a pawn in their little game to try to break us apart. Its not this part that bothers me. Well, at least not so much to keep me awake. Its that I really felt like me and this woman were friends. I really thought we had some sort of connection. Not to mention how wonderful her child is and how well Marci gets along with them. She's been talking about them for days now and has been asking when she will get to see them again. It breaks my heart that she probably won't. It's rare that she gets along so swimmingly with another child. Don't get me wrong, she plays well with others, but she really seemed to take a special liking to this one. It upsets me that I could be SO completly wrong about someone's character. SO WRONG. Even now, with all the evidence in my face, I am baffled.
I am so trusting. So open hearted and open minded. I am an optimist through and through and usually have such a hard time seeing bad in others. Some would call it naive. I guess I am naive. I hate people taking advantage of my good nature. I feel like such a fool. Life's little lessons I guess.
Something else that is keeping me up tonight is that today is my Dad's 1st wedding anniversary to that...woman. I texted him "Happy Anniversary" because I couldn't bring myself to call him and act like I am happy with how this marriage is working out. I am finding it harder and harder to fake. So much has changed with him. I really feel like an orphan. I feel abandoned. And even worse, I feel like Marci and Scarlett don't have grandparents. At least not the kind they deserve. I feel totally on my own. And alone. I have my sisters and my brother but they have their own families as well. Parents are supposed to be the ones to always be your cheerleaders and your shoulders and your support. People you should never feel guilty for needing. I feel like I don't have that anymore. She took him away from me. I was his baby and now I never see him, and when I do, she's there. She's always fucking there. I just want my Dad back.