We aren't doing that bad at all. At least not that I can see. We never fight. We joke around with eachother. We make plans with eachother. I still get kissed in more than one part of my body every day. No one has stopped saying "I love you". We still love being around eachother. In fact, we seem pretty good.
The only scary thing is, this is what I thought before and then he starting spewing all this crap that had me question everything. But I realized that I can't MAKE him love me. All I can do is be myself and live my life and hope that he loves it. He tells me he does. So, until he tells me he doesn't, I am not going to worry about it.
Three positives:
1.)I've finally decided what I want out of my life. I want to be a childrens photographer. I am trying to go back to school for it, but I'm finding it pricey, so I've been a google maniac lately trying to find classes in Cleveland to take. I have a passion for pictures and I think I have a pretty good eye. All I need to do is hone my skills and I think I could be really amazing at it.
2.)I found and called a driving school that offers private driving lessons to adults. So, in a week or so, I'm going to take my first 2 hour lesson. I think about 3-4 lessons and I will be ready for my test! This is the first time I've actually felt hope about my license. I'm pretty syked about it.
3.)WE found a new place in Cleveland, signed a lease, and we're moving JUNE FIRST (which, just an FYI is Marilyn Monroe's birthday). This apartment is the physical manifestation of exactly what I pictured in my head. Three beautiful bedrooms, hardwood floors, a fire place, long hall way, and in the best neighborhood I could ask for: Coventry Village. To you non-Ohioians, Coventry is the place artists and musicians call home. Its the hipster, indie mecca of Cleveland. I am in very short walking distance of art boutiques, cute shops, amazing bars and restaurants, a park, and so much more. PLUS out street is really upscale and residential with tons of trees and the neighborhood is very friendly. Everyone says hello to eachother and there are tons of young families. Besides a non coin op laundry, there is nothing more I could ask for!!
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I haven't written about my girls for a while so just some quick tid bits!
--Marci is going to be FOUR next month and her little mind is constantly turning. For the last 5 days, her attire aside from what I dress her in has been a poofy princess dress, red glitter shoes, fairy wings, a crown, a magic wand, and a baby doll wrapped in a curtain that she named "Jesus". She even wore it to the grocery store. She is finally getting into girly things, with the occasional spike of Thomas, Batman and sharks. But lately its been all glitter and pink! I'm sad she will be leaving her friends in a few weeks, but hopefully we can make some new ones. She really loves her friends. Her drawings have really been developing and she will work on one for a good hour before she says she's done. The other day, she came over and posed my body, then told me to hold still so she could draw me. "I'm going to make you look dignified" she explained. Her eating is STILL a battle every day, since she stopped caring about her "Good Eater" chart. I know I need to relax about it, but its hard when your baby is telling you she's hungry but yet won't eat what you give her.
--Squishy. Oh my God. I am so obsessed with her. Her communication has exploded! "Where Daddy?" she asks me every day, but sometimes I don'tk now who she means because she calls almost everyone Daddy! Except for Marci, who is "Sassy", which DOES NOT STAND FOR SISSY! NO NO NO! I hate that! For everything we can understand, there are about 100 things we can't, but she's getting good with gestures like pointing to help us comprehend. I love when she brings me the remote and says "show? show?" I love it the first time it happens in the day, but on the 46th time, its a little grating. Right now, she is standing on a little chair up against my open living room window that is spilling setting sun into my house, and pointing at birds and waving to people passing by and giggling and laughing and just loving life. She is the light in all of my darkness. I can't explain how much I love my babies!!
how about yesterday, I found a freaking pop machine in my development. I was ecstatic, but we just drove past it so I made plans to go today when Jamie was gone. so today, I wrangled up some quarters and took my kids out in the RAIN! (ok it was barely drizzling, but it was threatening rain!) and walked all the way to the other side of my development, my mouth watering for pepsi. And wouldn't you know it! The freaking thing ate all my quarters. SO here I sit...parched and decaffeniated.
I think I'll call Jamie and tell him to bring me one home :-)